Like a decent cuppa, #ThisGirlEats has been brewing for a long time. As it became less an idea and more a reality, my passion exploded and it was suddenly super important to me. It was like a new lease of life (is a mid-20s crisis a thing? It really should be) and I wanted to make it work.
If you’re sitting at home, perhaps feeling defeated, perhaps finding comfort in a bag of Kettle chips and a bottle of wine (no judgement here), wondering how a foodie blog that probably only my family and some very nice friends will ever read lifted me out of a similar funk, let me tell you…
I don’t like my job – I know; newsflash, I’m not the only one, bla bla bla. I mean, it’s not toooooo bad (‘cept rude customers, late nights and the absolute nightmare of Christmas retail, obviously), it’s just not my passion. And when you slog away day in, day out, at something you don’t feel any passion towards, it can get kinda depressing.
I’m SO guilty of letting my day job knock me back – I can’t count how many times I’ve come home feeling utterly rubbish. Still working at what I imagined to be a temporary stop-gap (HA HA HA) and not exactly making waves with my degree – or the £30,000 of debt I spent getting it! – led to endless hours punishing myself. I’d often turn a completely fine day into a living hell because I’d make myself feel so down about it.
But then I came up with this blog. Something to focus on, to aim for, to work on. Something exciting, motivating. It was a new adventure, the start of something. Once I realised that, everything else, including changing my negative mindset, just seemed to fall into place.
What was I criticising myself for? For being fortunate enough to have a job? For earning money, which allows me to have my own creative space, a decent laptop, and food to cook and experiment with? Is that really so awful? Isn’t that actually something to be proud of? Everyone who is successful, who I admire, has been in my shoes at some point. I’m a work in progress.
I thought having an “ordinary” retail job instead of being an award-winning journalist, music mogul or internet sensation of the blog-o-sphere made me unambitious, uncreative, underachieving. But did I look at my colleagues, doing the exact same job as me, that way? No. I saw them as funny, independent, interesting, creative, etc.. So why did I find it so hard to look at myself the same way?
We need to stop thinking that if we aren’t creating, organising, housekeeping, social media-ing, exercising, seeing friends and finding time to chill, all in one day, that it’s not a successful day. Productivity doesn’t have a time limit. The clock doesn’t refresh and start all over again after 24 hours. There’s no shame in working hard for bloody ages to get what you want. Fuck shame – take shame, disappointment and frustration into your own hands and mould it into inspiration, motivation, work ethic, passion, hunger.
Starting this blog gave me a bigger picture. It made me see my day job as a stepping stone rather than an obstacle. We are all a work in progress, and that’s okay.