I Am Worthy: Learning to Cope with Being the Dreaded Wedding “Plus One”

Weddings are fun; a chance to tart yourself up, get disgustingly drunk and catch up with distant friends and relatives. The romantic joy of a newly-married couple (and getting a free meal on them) is great, as far as I’m concerned  

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Image: giphy.com

But it can be difficult if you’re there as the dreaded “Plus One”. You freak out about how you look even more absurdly than usual, get faaar too drunk out of blind fear (and because you think it makes you the life and soul of the party when, in reality, you end up dancing a bit like Neil out of The Inbetweeners – but worse) and dine out courtesy of people you barely know. 

I attended a wedding as a Plus One recently and, le’me tell you, it was fantastic. But once upon a time, such an occasion wouldn’t have gone so smoothly for me. The thought of trying to mingle with strangers for hours was the stuff of nightmares… Like, Freddy Krueger level nightmares  

But this time, I’m proud to say I handled it. Armed with a new positive outlook, I taught myself a mantra that got me through with newfound ease, chatting, drinking and feeling totally comfortable with my partner’s college mates who have known him since he was a scruffy, boozed-up teenager – long before I straightened him out, obviously. (LIES – if anything, I’m a terrible influence!)

So, what was my mantra, you ask? Well, it’s just three simple words.

I am worthy.

That’s it. And it worked.

Don’t get me wrong, I had to say it a lot. I said it as I agonised over my dress in the mirror, deciding between “oh, that’s a cute summer dress” and “inappropriately short for a wedding, you slut”. I said it when I realised I couldn’t walk in the heels I’d worn and I looked more like ‘Bambi On Ice’ than an elegant wedding guest. I said it when I was introduced to strangers, intimidated by old friendships and tried to think of witty, intelligent dinner conversation.

But I said it. And, eventually, I felt comfortable with my outfit, just like many of the other gorgeous female guests around me. I walked with pride (and clung onto my boyfriend’s arm) in my silly heels. I made polite small talk with strangers, played drinking games with his group of mates, and felt more relaxed than ever before.

So yeah, it turns out telling yourself you’re actually an alright person makes you feel like, you know, an alright person.

Oh, for those of you all like, “What the hell?! I came here for food, not your life story!” – at the wedding meal, I had a goat’s cheese tart (I don’t like goat’s cheese), chicken and bacon in a deliciously creamy sauce with veg and roasties (amazing) and chocolate sponge (you can’t go wrong). So there!

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