With this time of year, hangovers are almost an inevitability. From my experience, these are some ultimate do’s and don’t’s when it comes to getting through a seriously bad Christmas hangover.
Keep a packet of paracetamol handy at ALL TIMES. No matter how many scrunched up half-packs you end up having littered between bags, when you wake up on your mate’s sofa in yesterday’s clothes barely able to crack open an eyelid thanks to last night’s mascara, you’ll be incredibly grateful for that scrunched up half-pack.
Gather your trashiest TV boxsets and go nuts. Desperate Housewives? Get stuck into suburbia. Glee? Sing your heart out, baby. Gossip Girl? xoxo. Whatever you like to indulge in when the world gets a bit tough, this is your moment. Binge to your heart’s content, because it’s probably the only thing that can take your mind off of how bloody gross you are.
Try to avoid, at all costs, any remnants of the night before. Just try to ignore it, let it all wash over you and do your best to pretend it’s not happening. None of it. Not the crumbled up pants you tossed aside before drunkenly crawling into bed. Not the ugly-ass photos that are starting to creep up on social media. Not even the unexpected person you may have found yourself with in the morning (now that’s a night out!). Just close your eyes and kid yourself into believing you’re a perfectly functioning human being.
Basically anything that I’ve done today, which includes…
Going to work the day after your Christmas party. Alright, we didn’t have a choice – they arranged the party on a Thursday for heaven’s sake. You can’t exactly call in sick pretending you’ve got the flu when the whole office knows the real reason for your sore throat is the lethal cocktail of singing and sambuca, which they all bore witness to. Be smart, plan ahead and never organise a night of Christmas drinking when you’ve got work the next day.
Watching Titanic. You might think, like me, that curling up in bed with one of your favourite movies, one that you haven’t watched for ages but you know will still make you feel all kind of feelings, is the perfect remedy for a hangover. And, like me, you’d be mistaken. My fragile state wasn’t prepared to watch Jack’s beautiful, frozen face disappear into ocean while Rose hogged that door all to herself. I felt even worse after all the emotional turmoil.
Overdoing the Chinese food for lunch when your stomach hasn’t quite decided if it can handle it yet. I work right next to a Chopstix, a Chinese fast food outlet I never knew existed until recently, and I carefully selected today – with my poor, weak, alcohol-infused body crying out for sustenance – to go for it. It was delicious, don’t get me wrong. But I really, really, really wish I’d waited for my tummy to settle down before I stuffed it to bursting point. Now I don’t know if I’m hungover or just greedy.