Let me be super clear here; I love women and I love supporting them. I’m not saying for one second that I can’t or don’t support other women, I’m just being honest: I don’t always find it easy. Or at least, as easy as social media would have us believe.
I honestly love supporting the women around me. My family, my friends, my colleagues, other bloggers, I think you’re all fantastic and I’m so, so proud of every one of you. But when you haven’t got much confidence in yourself, it’s really hard to silence that self-loathing envy, and it’s difficult not to feel that the achievements of others reflect your own shortcomings. Trust me, that says more about myself than it does anyone else!
We’re living in crucial times; as a woman today, it’s SO important to be supportive. To be there for each other, to fight for each other, to promote each other and to understand each other. We should all be basking in the glow of each other’s fabulousness! It makes me feel like the worst feminist ever to admit that I don’t always find that easy.
Is that okay? Am I allowed?
Sometimes, when I look at myself and feel a bit squishy – let’s say I’m hopelessly trying to squeeze into my jeans again or whatever – my confidence is at its lowest. Self-doubt plagues my mind and clouds my judgement. Then I see a lovely lady showing off her weight loss on Instagram, or a group of girls all going out looking a million bucks, or a blogger posting a “candid” shot that looks absolutely stunning while in all my candids I look like a potato.
I want to be supportive. I want to congratulate her on losing the weight, I want to ask those girls where they got their outfits because they look awesome, I want to comment on the photo and ask for photography tips. But I also feel like chucking my phone across the room and throwing a strop like a toddler because I’m annoyed. Not at them, but at myself. I’m mad at myself because I can’t do those things, or I don’t like look that, or I haven’t achieved those goals. It’s silly, it’s selfish, but it’s true.
Of course, I don’t say this (until now!). I smile, and I say well done to all the smart, confident, beautiful, hard-working, brave, funny, ambitious, sexy, relentless, fierce women I know because, let’s face it, they’re all bloody wonderful.
I’ll say it again – it’s so, so, so important for us girls to stick together and support each other, to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. But I think it’s also important to acknowledge that overcoming our own insecurities to do so can be difficult for some of us. But that just proves how strong us women can be for each other, right?