I’ve always championed the idea that it’s better to have a small, tight-knit group of genuinely close friends who you can really rely on rather than loads of acquaintances who float in and out of your life. While I do admire those few social butterflies I know, I think I’d always choose a small but significant circle of friends over anything else because, for me, quality trumps quantity. Or maybe that’s just to mask the fact that I was never really very popular… 🤷♀️
Anyway, I do think I’ve managed to achieve that throughout my life. I made most of my good, solid mates at school and a few here and there since and, at 24, I can confidently say I definitely know who my friends are. But, you see, the problem nowadays is… well, it’s me. I’ve become a totally useless friend! I don’t know how, or when, but I have. So this is an open letter to my close friends (you know who you are – I hope!) to say: sorry I’m such a dick.
I’m sorry I sometimes ignore the group chat.
I’m sorry I see your messages but forget to reply for literally days.
I’m sorry I don’t always make it when we plan to hang out and I’m sorry that, when I do, I sometimes leave early.
I’m sorry I don’t live close by and that makes me lazy when it comes to meeting up.
I’m sorry driving stresses me out to the point I can’t always come visit.
I’m sorry I haven’t seen some of you for months.
I’m sorry that I probably still won’t see some of you until “something” comes up, because we shouldn’t really need a reason to catch up.
It’s difficult to keep relationships strong as an adult, once you move away and have your own life to focus on, but it’s not impossible. People do it. I can do it, I just totally suck at it. I’ve become selfish and lethargic and completely wrapped up in my own life, to the point that I’ve forgotten to check in on the lives of people I actually care about. I’ve been shamefully absent, I know that – but I don’t want to be anymore. So, to all you guys, I’m sorry I’ve been a rubbish friend lately, but I’m working on it, I promise.